Keys to Better Sex Revealed

A new study analyses what makes a great sex life. Here are some of the highlights:

  • Communication, self-esteem and understanding each other’s emotions make for great sex
  • Men want to engage in activities which bring pleasure to women.
  • When men are in tune with their partner’s emotions, women are more open to exploration.

You can read the entire article here.

What makes your sex life great?

(Pre)Marriage Quiz

British Rabbi Jonathan Romain has devised a quiz to help couples decide if they really should tie the knot so that couples who choose to marry, stay married. He would like to see the divorce rate drop from 1:2 to 1:16 marriages. Check out this article to see what the Rabbi believes are essential questions to ask of each other before saying, “I do”.

Some questions are light-hearted such “what is your partner’s favourite food”, but most probe what people think their partner’s future plans and aspirations are.

If you are already married, use this as a conversation starter and see how well you know your spouse!

Let me know how it goes!!

 

 

Sex, Depression and the College of Surgeons

There has been a bit of a brouhaha in the scientific community recently because a very prominent doctor was asked to resign from the his leadership post at the American College of Surgeons after posting a Valentine’s Day column. What did he say that was so controversial?

Women who have unprotected sex were less likely to experience depression because semen itself acts as a natural anti-depressant.

In the midst of the controversy, the authors of the 2002 study to which he was referring have come out in support of his comments. Defending the original study, as well as the research that they have conducted since then, they said,

“There is growing evidence that human semen has the potential to produce profound effects on women.  We have replicated the effects showing female college students having sex without condoms are less depressed as measured by objective scores on the Beck Depression Inventory.  We’ve also examined the data as a function of whether the students were using hormonal contraceptives, whether they were in committed relationships, and how long these relationships have lasted.  The anti-depressant properties of semen exposure do not vary as function of any of these conditions.  It is not a question of whether females are sexually active, since students having sex with condoms show the same level of depression as those who are not having sex at all.  We have also received numerous semen testimonials from other women who attest to the anti-depressant effects of semen exposure and these accounts often include the use of control trials (i.e., comparisons generated by switching from condoms to unprotected sex, or vice a versa).”

Check out the full article here,  and tell me what you think. Should the doctor been asked to resign?

Does Media Distort Love??

“A colonial house was centered around a fireplace to keep warm. The fear was being cold,” says Derek Melleby, the director for the College Transition Initiative at the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding. “Living rooms today are centered around a TV. The fear is being disconnected.”

This is a fabulous article exploring the levels of expectation that we have about our relationships based on what we perceive to be “normal” in the media. Thank you, Desiree, for sending this one to me!

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/25275-distorting-love

What are your thoughts??

Being a Parent vs Being a Spouse

Does time with your spouse get squeezed out because you are spending so much on your kids? Read this article for tips on bringing balance and protecting your marriage.

Being a Parent vs Being a Spouse

And remember these 4 tips:

  1. Your marriage is one of the most important relationships in your life.
  2. Children need to see you two as a couple who will, at times, need to make that relationship top priority.
  3. Limit your child’s extracurricular activities to one or two special ones. Let them understand that they need to choose. You’ll be surprised how having less “running around” will limit exhaustion and free up some much needed time for you.
  4. If you have children from a previous marriage, include your new spouse in the time you spend with them. It will alleviate tension and resentment.

Talking to Your Kids About Sex

Need some pointers on talking to your kids about sex? A new study reveals the most effective ways to keep the lines of communication open on this issue.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41578721/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/

Some of their tips include:

  • Spread out the conversations
  • Use anatomically correct terms
  • Don’t lie
  • Don’t assume
  • Don’t judge
  • Pass it on

Have you talked to your kids about sex?  How did you do it?

Sexual Education Should Begin…

In a shocking revelation (dripping with sarcasm) it’s being reported that sexual education should begin in the home.  Parents talking to children about sex!

The Calgary Herald carried this story.

By the way, where did you learn about sex?  Parents? Friends? Movies? Books? By doing?

Top 20 Most Romantic Cities in Canada…

Right in time for Valentine’s Day, Amazon.ca has come out with their list of the Top 20 Most Romantic Cities in Canada. Is your city on the list?

My city did not make the cut, but since sales of Michael Bublé CDs is one of the criteria, we may never make the rankings…

If you had to come up with the criteria what would it be?  Do you think your city is one of the most romantic?  Tell me why!

Obesity: Problem, Solution, or Both?

Last year, while I was interviewing a woman who had struggled with years of infertility which resulted in a very problematic sex life, she made a comment that I found staggering.

“I used weight-gain to make myself less desirable.”

Having sex caused so much pain because it reminded her of her failure to conceive, and so she began to – very physically – insulate herself from both this pain and her husband. This brutally honest statement flies in the face of our cultural assumption that people who struggle with weight issues should just learn to “eat better” and the following article addresses this matter.

The original article can be found here.

Please note that I am not advocating this organization or their weight loss program, but their analysis of the psychological motivations of weight gain deserve thought and reflection.  Feel free to share yours here.  Feed back is always appreciated.

Language Affects Intimacy

From the San Francisco Chronicle, “A Communication Expert Tells How Language Affects Intimacy”.

David Cunningham offers these tips for people to avoid inadvertently talking themselves out of love:
  1. Choose Words Wisely
  2. Avoid Negative Talk
  3. Focus on Your Commitment
What do you think?  Can how your lover talks to you affect the intimacy you feel?