So tomorrow night I am going to my huband’s 20th high school reunion. He went to high school in Texas, and so by state law (I assume) reunions are held on homecoming, which again by law, must coincide with a football game. So, I am going to get all dressed up and go watch a high school football game with my husband while at the same time meeting everyone from his graduating class.
Now, just so we are all clear on the background here, I did not know Eric in high school. We lived in different parts of the state (or different parts of the continent depending on what years of high school we are talking about). I moved from Canada to Texas when I was a freshman (9th grade). Eric lived his entire life in Texas. So, aside from a few dear friends that I made and still keep in contact with, high school was not that great a time in my life. I am very glad it is over. Eric, on the other hand, loved every minute of high school. High school was like a 4 year party for him. He fully embraced the whole high school experience – played sports, did well in academics, had HUGE number of friends (and evidently a whole load of girlfriends too). So going back to visit his old stomping grounds holds great attraction for him. Going back to high school, any high school really, is a far less attractive concept for me. Add to this the fact that we don’t even live in the country (much less the state or city) and I know NO ONE ELSE that will be attending, and well, I am freely admitting that I am going only because I love my husband and it will make him happy.
But this whole 20 year reunion thing has been making me think lately. When we graduate from high school (whether we loved it or loathed it) we are always looking forward. It is a new chapter in our life. In many ways high school graduation is a rite of passage. Some people go to college, some go into the working world, some get married – the possibilities are endless. And that is what has gotten me thinking. Endless possibilities faced us. We could do anything we wanted. We could chase our dreams. Do you remember what your dreams were coming out of high school? Did you have your future planned out? Where did you see yourself in 10, 20, 30, 40 years?
Now fast forward. How long has it been since you finished high school? Have you accomplished everything that you thought you would? Have you gone everywhere you wanted to go? Did you marry the person you dreamed you would (or at least the kind of person you thought you would)?
Why or why not? Were you dreaming the wrong dreams, or have you just not gotten around to chasing them yet? Has life gotten in the way of what you wanted, or have your desires changed as you matured and grown?
If you did absolutely everything you wanted to do coming out of high school, then what did you do after it was all accomplished? How did your ideas change?
Now, since I am a passion coach, think about your relationship. Is it everything you wanted it to be? Is the intimacy at the level you thought it would be? Is the communication as strong as you wanted it to be? Is your sex life as fulfilling as you dreamed it would be?
Have you ever sat down with your lover and talked about what your dreams and goals for each of these areas are? Do you know what his/hers are? Maybe the two of you should have your own intimate “reunion”. Get a sitter, go out some place – like where you met – and talk about what your dreams were for the relationship when it started. See where you are now compared with then. And talk about how things have changed. Talk about how time and maturity have changed you. Talk about what your goals and dreams are now, and how you can reach them together. Get back to that place of infinite possibility and re-create your future together.
Trust me, it will be WAY more fun than reliving your spouse’s glory days with a bunch of people you don’t know. I kid, I kid. I love you husband and I can’t wait to find out more about the man I love and who he was a teenager! Though, I am pretty sure that I am more impressed with who you are today than who you were then!!