Mommy Madness Mistake

Are you slipping into “Mommy Madness”???

Michele Weiner Davis, an internationally renowned author and therapist, does a brilliant job summing up the perils of an all consuming focus on your children in this article.

Have you “been there/done that”?  Are you there now?  What are your thoughts about “child centric parenting”?

2 replies
  1. Dawn
    Dawn says:

    I truly think my first marriage ended in divorce (and the unfaithfulness of my then husband) because I was ‘child centric’. As my children came, I was very devoted to them, although I thought I was devoted to my husband as well. It was a shock when my husband spouted he wanted a divorce. A mother and wife can only spread herself so thin.
    I’ve come to realize that men (for the most part) are like children and need attention and praise as such. Having been raised in the household I was, I was determined to break the chain of dysfunction with my own children. And I did. Little did I know that having a husband that needs a lot of attention as well would take it’s toll.
    It’s been 16 years since becoming a mother and these past 16 years has been the hardest job, yet the most devotion I’ve had to a job as well. And I’ve taken for granted that I don’t need to be ‘taken care of’. I take care of myself. And my needs and wants fall by the wayside a lot.
    I am now married again – and I feel that I am still child centric. It’s in my blood. And as a lot of women do, I spread myself thin- mothering my children as well as my husband.
    I guess, I’ve given up on the notion of an ‘equal’ marriage and play the martyr because that’s the ‘easiest’ way to go. Is it ideal? Nope. And honestly, there never seems to be enough time to sort all through this – so I go on. Mommie-ing and wife-ing.
    Trying to change a man, is futile. I feel, as long as everyone else is happy and taken care of, my job is done. And…it’s the best I can do for now.
    My thoughts on child centric parenting seems to teeter on the edge of insanity. I mean, to each his own and every situation is different. There is a spectrum of this type of parenting, I feel. Child centric can be me…or that crazy mother who dolls her daughter up and lives vicariously through her, shoving her in pageants and so on. Am I the perfect parent? No. Am I a ‘better’ parent than I was given? Definitely. There are so many more facets to my life than the devotion I give my children….and by facets I mean drama and ghosts and anger and issues. That’s just my nutbarism in a barrell and my 2 cents.

    • Eryn-Faye Frans
      Eryn-Faye Frans says:

      Dawn thank you so much for sharing. Your honesty is inspiring. My heart truly goes out to you – and I don’t mean that to sound like I am taking away from the life you have lived and the love your children and husband feel from you on a daily basis. But I do believe that you matter too! Your happiness really does factor in dear lady. I understand the overwhelming feeling that you imply when you said, “it’s the best I can do for now.” Most of us can sum our life up in similar fashion – but keep an eye on tomorrow too. You do need to take care of yourself and have your needs met too. And those same family members that you pour so much into, have the capacity to pour right back into you. You are in my thoughts lady.

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