Yesterday, we went tree hunting. We didn’t have to go far, because we live in a rather unique area. Suburbia is encroaching on farm land all around us. It is not uncommon to be driving past rows of houses and then come across a field of horses or cows and then, just moments later, pop back out in a densely developed section again. I can leave my subdivision and five minutes later I am at the Christmas tree farm where we buy our trees each year.

Normally, I am the tree Nazi. The tree has to be large, positioned just so, and decorated according to proper protocol. The lights go on first, then the bows, then the balls and then the rest of the ornaments. All ornaments must be hung equidistance from each other to give a well-balanced and uniform appearance. Ugly ornaments (which are there for the sheer sentimental value) go in the back. As you can imagine, trimming the tree can be a stressful experience for all of us as I strive to craft the perfectly decorated tree.

However, I have been learning a lot about the draw-backs of perfection lately, so this year I decided that Riley could do the tree. After all, we were doing it for her anyways, so why not let her decide what should go on? I did ask that the lights go on first, but other than that it was free game. No bows or balls? No problem. You picked the tree skirt that doesn’t match? I can live with that too. This is your tree, baby girl.

I tucked myself away in the kitchen making Mexican hot chocolate while Eric and Riley started on the tree. I pretended that this was to make us all feel warm and homey, but in truth it was more so that I didn’t completely stress out about the way the tree was turning out. When I brought out the drinks, the delight on Riley’s face was radiant.

“Will you help me, Mommy?”

“Of course. How about I unwrap ornaments and you can hang them?”

As I passed the ornaments to Riley, I realized I was retelling our history. There is an ornament with our wedding photo on it; a Belleek ornament from our honeymoon in Ireland, a hedgehog ornament because our first pet was a hedgehog named Squeeze. We have ornaments from our time living in Nepal, one from the Tavern on the Green while we were celebrating our 5 year anniversary in New York, one from a trip with my 80 year-old grandmother to Israel. We have a tin can ornament that my mother made early in her marriage when money was tight. We have an atrocious play dough bunny I made in kindergarten and some God-awful blue thing that comes from my husband’s childhood. He swears it is a Christmas elf.  (It is my deep and selfless love for him alone that has allowed it to survive in my house at all these many years.)

Riley’s first Christmas is represented on the tree. Her and her father’s shared love for the classic claymation Christmas movies is reflected there. We even have a Barbie in her Corvette. Because, well, the Corvette Barbie is just cool.

And this year, because I was not driving the tree trimming extravaganza, I was able to sip my hot chocolate and see the compilation of memories slowly reassemble on the tree. Our tree each year is a celebration of our shared history together.

I did notice that we don’t have ornaments representing the difficult times. We don’t have anything to depict financial turmoil or betrayal or loss that we have experienced over the years. However, the very fact that we are setting up a tree again means that we have made it past those times to celebrate our good memories together.  And those are the memories we treasure!

Last week, I asked you to write a letter to your lover of the top gifts s/he has given you. This week, I encourage you to think back over your years together. What milestones have you accomplished together? What have you achieved together? What new “ornament” are you going to hang this year?

I have learned my lesson. This year was much more enjoyable than previous years. No, the tree is not perfect. There are clumpings of ornaments and that God-awful blue thing is front and center. But I am much more grateful that I ever have been in past years. And that is what I will be thinking of when I look at the tree this year.

—editor’s note—

The Christmas Elf is neither god-awful nor technically front and center on the tree…though it is not hidden away on the back side this year because we conveniently “ran out of room at the front” as in years past (every year past come to think of it).   It is however a wonderful memory of my childhood (and therefore the early 1970s).  But I have complete faith in the judgment of you good folks reading this.  And so, instead of forcing you to believe how cute the ornament is, I shall give you opportunity not only to see it, but to vote on its very cuteness or god-awfulness as you see fit.  I give you:

THE GREAT CHRISTMAS ELF VOTE OF 2009

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