Author: Esther Perel
Description: If you have ever wondered why passion has fizzled in your marriage even though emotional intimacy has deepened, Perel can shed some light on the mystery. Loaded with examples from the lives of real people, Mating In Captivity addresses cultural taboos and explains the nature of eroticism.
Favorite Chapter: The Pitfalls of Modern Intimacy: Talk is not the only avenue to closeness. The expectations are extraordinarily high in modern-day marriages. The definition of intimacy has been feminized which leaves men at a distinct disadvantage. Understanding the limiting nature of this cultural definition, and widening it to include forms of communication and intimacy which are not just verbal is essential when stoking the flames of passion.
Best Take-away: “Love seeks closeness but desire needs distance.” As emotional intimacy increases in a relationship, it is very easy for passion to dissipate. The trick to maintaining eroticism is to hold in tandem the paradoxical values of separateness and connection.