I ran across this article on CNN the other day and as I read it, my eyes filled with tears. In my practice, I meet so many women like the wife of this author but to hear the story from her husband’s perspective was, well, heart breaking.

It makes me want to yell and scream that marriage doesn’t have to be like what he is describing. That as the years go by, we can continue to connect in a special way that is uniquely us beyond our identities as mom, dad, daughter, son, boss or coworker.

But intimacy is built on the myriad of little choices that we make. The choice to gently touch as we pass by each other. The choice to give a lingering kiss goodbye in the morning rather than a peck on the cheek. The choice to ask, “How was your day?”, and then really listen to the answer. The choice to make time to write a little note and drop it on his pillow for him to find. The choice to put the kids to bed early. The choice to leave the TV turned off.

The relationship that we have with our spouse is unique – no other relationship has such a powerful potential for adventure, happiness, pleasure, companionship, and yes, intimacy. But it will only reach that potential if we choose for it to be so.

If you have not done so already, go read the original article here or on my article page.  Then come back and think about these questions?

• Do you “miss” the person you fell in love with and what has changed in your relationship that causes you to “miss” them?
• What specific choices are you going to make today, tomorrow, this week that will create intimacy between you and your lover?

Let us know your answers, and more importantly, let us know how the week goes when you implement these choices!!