Speaking of positions…

Viennese Oyster. The Amazon. The Hammock. The Screw. Reverse Spoon. Lap-dancing Cowgirl. The Snow Plow. The Butterfly Effect. The Rickshaw. The Happy Landing. Yin Yang. The Stick Shift. The Three O’clock Appointment. The Slinky. Rock a Thigh Baby. Deep Impact. The Splitter. The Lazy Dog. Standing Tall. Bend Over Backwards.

What do these terms all have in common? They are all sexual positions.

For centuries men and women have been trying all sorts of positions and giving them interesting names. (In fact the oldest sex manual in the world is the Chinese ‘Handbooks of Sex’ written 5,000 years ago by Emperor Huang-Ti, 2697-2598 B.C.) And yet, despite the wide variety of options that we have imagined, conceived and invented, couples still report their favourites to be:

• Man on top (aka: Missionary Position)
• Woman on top (aka: Cowgirl)
• Rear-entry position (aka: Doggie Style)

Now, there are obvious advantages to these positions. In the doggie style position, the man is able to view the woman from behind which can be very visually stimulating. Women enjoy this position because it allows for deep penetration and g-spot stimulation. In the Cowgirl position, the woman can often control the thrusting as well as receive adequate stimulation to the clitoris (for example, through manual or vibrator stimulation) so that she can have an orgasm. In this position, the man is able to see his partner’s body stretching out above him. And the missionary position is popular for its intimacy as the couple is face to face with a high degree of body contact. Although only about 12% of women report that they can orgasm through this position, they still rank it as a favourite.

And yet, studies show that when couples are trying to inject new life into their sexual intimacy, the first thing they do is try new positions. This experimenting in the bedroom wards off boredom, allows spouses to see each other in a different way (literally and figuratively) and gives them the opportunity to experience new pleasure.

Want to start slowly? How about spicing up your favourite position by adding:

• A mirror (or two) so that your visibility is increased
• Water (try the Cowgirl position in the bathtub, or Doggie style in the shower. NOTE: for water play I strongly recommend a silicon based lubricant - I recommned Slip’n Slide)
• New lighting (candle light, a softer bulb in the bedside table, all the overhead lights turned on)
• An edible lubricant (need some ideas? Check out these options)

When you are ready to move on to new positions, there are numerous books and websites devoted to enlightening people on different positions. Some of my favourites are:

• Dr. Sadie Alison’s Ride ‘Em Cowgirl. Dr. Alison gives detailed information written while maintaining  a sense of humour so the reading never gets boring. This book gives a variety of positions including those which are good for the g-spot, pregnancy and those who are overweight.
• Cosmopolitan’s position of the day. This site gives great tips and suggestions and the diagrams detailing the positions are clean-cut. They also give every position a “Carnal Challenge” rating so you know how difficult it will be to try.
• Christian Nymphos. Designed for couples “of faith”, this website offers a weekly position recommendation.  While the positions are not illustrated, they are explained quite well.

On a personal note, I found myself really struggling with what direction to take this article.  I figured I would ask my husband for his thoughts and get his perspective, so I told him, “Honey, I am having a hard time coming up with an angle for this article on positions.”

There was the briefest look of shock across Eric’s face before he burst out laughing. Usually, we spend our time intentionally making double entendres (it’s part and parcel of the job), but this time, I was so focused on the task at hand that I completely missed it!  The laugher was so infectious that it broke my writer’s block!