This question is about sexual intimacy in the marriage bed and is very descriptive ( I am a newly wed, and am very NEW at all this).

My question is simple – as a wife, I would like to have oral sex with my husband. but I am uncomfortable with the odors I have in my private parts, so I have refused him access to that area. I would like to offer this gift to him, so what products (edible oils, cleaning products) do you suggest I use to get rid of these odors?

I hope that wasn’t out of topic. I am new to this site, and I have not had the courage to ask this question to anyone so far…Thanks for your prompt reply!

Let me start by saying that I applaud you for having the courage to write this email, especially as you have just recently been married! Any questions about sex are extremely sensitive, and sometimes it is difficult to know who to ask. I have coached hundreds of women in the areas of passion, sensuality, and sexuality, and let me assure you that your question is very common – many women are nervous about the odors that they have in their genital area and this impacts their impression of oral sex.

Let me start answering your question by saying that very often, men are far less concerned about our odors than we are! We, as women, are very critical about our bodies (how they look, how they smell, how they taste, etc.) and this can impede the intimacy we have with our husbands. However, they usually don’t care at all – they are just ecstatic that we chose to be with them!

I would suggest that you take a shower or bath before you want to have oral sex with your husband. If you are planning to return the favour, ask him to do the same. In fact, showering together and soaping each other down might be a great way to start the foreplay! And while plain ole’ soap will do wonders to freshen both of you up, you could also use a scented body wash that both of you like. I personally think the Body Shop has an amazing line.

Another product that has a great reputation is called D’Lickious. This edible lotion can be put on his penis or your clitoral area (but do not put such items inside the vagina), and enhances oral sex by giving a warming or cooling sensation. As it is an edible, it also helps divert attention from any odors.

Finally, it is important to remember that oral sex, like all types of sex, is a skill set. It takes time of develop and perfect your technique. As you and your husband explore and discover what you each enjoy, you will expand this aspect of your sexual relationship and deepen the intimacy between the two of you.

If you have any other questions, please write again! In the meantime, enjoy your new explorations!!

Sincerely,

Eryn-Faye, Passion Coach