High School Reunion: Glory Days

So tomorrow night I am going to my huband’s 20^th high school reunion.  He went to high school in Texas, and so by state law (I assume) reunions are held on homecoming, which again by law, must coincide with a football game.  So, I am going to get all dressed up and go watch a high school football game with my husband while at the same time meeting everyone from his graduating class.

Now, just so we are all clear on the background here, I did not know Eric in high school.  We lived in different parts of the state (or different parts of the continent depending on what years of high school we are talking about).  I moved from Canada to Texas when I was a freshman (9^th grade).  Eric lived his entire life in Texas.  So, aside from a few dear friends that I made and still keep in contact with, high school was not that great a time in my life.  I am very glad it is over.  Eric, on the other hand, loved every minute of high school.  High school was like a 4 year party for him.  He fully embraced the whole high school experience - played sports, did well in academics, had HUGE number of friends (and evidently a whole load of girlfriends too).  So going back to visit his old stomping grounds holds great attraction for him.  Going back to high school, any high school really, is a far less attractive concept for me.  Add to this the fact that we don’t even live in the country (much less the state or city) and I know NO ONE ELSE that will be attending, and well, I am freely admitting that I am going only because I love my husband and it will make him happy.

But this whole 20 year reunion thing has been making me think lately.  When we graduate from high school (whether we loved it or loathed it) we are always looking forward.  It is a new chapter in our life.  In many ways high school graduation is a rite of passage.  Some people go to college, some go into the working world, some get married - the possibilities are endless.  And that is what has gotten me thinking.  Endless possibilities faced us.  We could do anything we wanted.  We could chase our dreams.  Do you remember what your dreams were coming out of high school?  Did you have your future planned out?  Where did you see yourself in 10, 20, 30, 40 years?

Now fast forward.  How long has it been since you finished high school?  Have you accomplished everything that you thought you would?  Have you gone everywhere you wanted to go?  Did you marry the person you dreamed you would (or at least the kind of person you thought you would)?

Why or why not?  Were you dreaming the wrong dreams, or have you just not gotten around to chasing them yet?  Has life gotten in the way of what you wanted, or have your desires changed as you matured and grown?

If you did absolutely everything you wanted to do coming out of high school, then what did you do after it was all accomplished?  How did your ideas change?

Now, since I am a passion coach, think about your relationship.  Is it everything you wanted it to be?  Is the intimacy at the level you thought it would be?  Is the communication as strong as you wanted it to be?  Is your sex life as fulfilling as you dreamed it would be?

Have you ever sat down with your lover and talked about what your dreams and goals for each of these areas are?  Do you know what his/hers are?   Maybe the two of you should have your own intimate “reunion”.  Get a sitter, go out some place - like where you met - and talk about what your dreams were for the relationship when it started.  See where you are now compared with then.  And talk about how things have changed.  Talk about how time and maturity have changed you.  Talk about what your goals and dreams are now, and how you can reach them together.  Get back to that place of infinite possibility and re-create your future together.

Trust me, it will be WAY more fun than reliving your spouse’s glory days with a bunch of people you don’t know.  I kid, I kid.  I love you husband and I can’t wait to find out more about the man I love and who he was a teenager!  Though, I am pretty sure that I am more impressed with who you are today than who you were then!!

Exhaustion

Today, I am tired. The past two weeks have been at pitch-fever pace sprinting to get everything accomplished before we leave on a trip to Texas. It is my husband’s twenty-year high school reunion and we are taking it as an opportunity to go back and visit with loved ones. I am terribly excited about the chance to see everyone again (and meet all these people Eric has mentioned over the years), but the time away requires that I do even more work ahead of time. Speaking notes to be given to my substitute teacher, coaching plans to draft for clients, phone calls which have to be done before we leave, and articles to write for you, my dear readers!

And so, while my exhaustion is the result of very good and exciting things in my life, it is still nevertheless exhaustion.

I meet many, many people who live perpetually in this state. As a culture, we seem to have slipped into an acceptance that crazy is the way of life. We jet around town getting the kids where they need to go. We commute back and forth to work. We rush from one activity to another. We keep cell phones glued to our bodies so we don’t miss out on calls, emails, texts, and the score of the Yankees’ game (yes, baby, that one’s for you!). We spend hours in our lives doing instead of being.

But it is in the silent times that we rejuvenate. We can reflect. We can get in touch with the part deep inside of us which guides and directs us. Jack Canfield, author of The Success Principles calls this “inquiring within”. Whether you are from a faith-based background and believe in a God who directs you or whether you believe in the concept that inside of all of us we intuitively know the right answers, there is power in getting quiet enough to listen.

It is when we slow down enough to be still, to be quiet, to just be, then the understanding of our life’s path once again becomes focused. The blur that is created though rushing through our days begins to dissipate and instead we see sharp, clear images. We remember our true desires and longings. We have a clear vision for the future. We remember who we are.

One of the most profound exercises that I have been doing over the past several months is the concept of “morning pages.” Following the guidelines laid down by Julia Cameron in The Artist Way, I wake up every morning half an hour earlier than necessary and I write three pages of long-hand script. My morning pages are filled with whatever stream of consciousness that spills forth. No one reads my morning pages except for me, so I have the freedom to say anything and everything that I want. Sometimes, I muse about conversations I had the previous day. Sometimes, I draft ideas for my next talk, article or coaching appointment. Sometimes I vent about frustrations in my life. And sometimes, I hear that quiet voice deep within me beckoning me to push beyond my comfort zones to follow my true calling in life.

I must admit, the past week my morning pages have been more perfunctory than anything else. I have dutifully filled them out, but I have not embraced the process or even particularly learned from it. And that is probably why I am so exhausted today. Because, in contrast to constructive work that emanates from a sense of self, I have fallen into busyness which emanates from duty. And that is not sustainable in the long run.

So, I am going to refocus for my morning pages tomorrow. And in the meantime I am going to take a nap.

But what about you?  What do you do to ward off exhaustion in your life?