Last night my husband and I went on a double date to the see the movie, “The Ugly Truth“. The movie had been the other couple’s idea because when they had seen it previously, they looked at each other as the credits rolled up and simultaneously said, “We have to bring the Franses to this film!” I am often afraid to take other’s opinions on movies because “good” is so relative to personal tastes with them, but I have to admit that it might be the best romantic comedy I have ever seen. (I was going to call it a chick flick, but this would be a dreadful misrepresentation of the movie.)

Since I am still nursing a broken foot, the others sent me ahead to save seats while they found parking spaces and bought goodies. (Ok, that’s not exactly true. Turns out, my husband and I had a major mis-communication and I inadvertently sent him on a wild goose chase errand which took quite a bit of time and left me alone in the theater watching it fill up wondering whether I had wandered into the wrong theatre and the others were trying to locate the poor cripple who was obviously blind as well. But I digress.) As I watched the theatre fill up, I couldn’t help but notice that it was comprised mostly of couples. I found this interesting because in other movies of this genre, the audience is mostly female with the exception of the few males who have very obviously been dragged there to appease their women folk. Furthermore, I realized that throughout the film, the men laughed as hard, if not harder, than the women. The brilliance of the film is that it speaks the thoughts on the mind of millions of men – hence The Ugly Truth.

It struck a chord with me because my personal opinion (based on professional observations) is that we as a culture try to feminize men to get them to fit our definition of a “good” and “healthy” relationship. Whether or not we are willing to acknowledge it, women want men to be women. We want to enjoy deep gazes into each other’s eyes (let’s ignore the research that tells us that even male babies of four months old avoid eye contract because that’s just not how they are made) or have endless conversations about our feelings and deepest thoughts (let’s denigrate them because men actually take action  rather than just talk). We might have initially been attracted to them for their masculine traits (they were mysterious back then) but then the minute we walk down the aisle, we want them to turn into our closest girlfriend. Our vision of a perfect relationship is, well, feminine.

Not only do we think that this is what we deserve, but then we judge men for not being women rather than valuing, respecting and indeed even loving their differences. And in my vaguely humble opinion, men really have traits and opinions and points of view that women desperately need.  In “The Ugly Truth”, we see Hollywood explore these concepts. And the end product is a film that is incredibly entertaining for both women and men. Yes, it is crass. Yes, there is lots of cussing. Yes, it will most likely offend your sensibilities. But go see it anyways.  And take your lover with you!!  And then come back and tell me what you think!