Our four year old daughter is not crazy about spicy foods. It is probably my fault because when I was pregnant with her, I avoided anything and everything that could intensify the excruciating heartburn that I suffered. In our family, however, we value multi-culturism. Eric and I have traveled extensively overseas and believe there is a lot to be learned from exploring and experiencing other cultures. As a result, we vary our menu with foods from other countries. Sometimes, much to the chagrin of our daughter, those foods are spicy. When she complains about the food, our typical response is something along the lines of, “If you want to travel around the world with us, you have to learn to eat new kinds of food.” Since she is desperate to go to Africa, this response is usually sufficient to get her to pick up her fork (with a big glass of water handy to wash the food down) and eat. While she doesn’t necessarily love everything that we make her try, she has a fairly extensive pallet for a child of her age. Sushi currently sits at the top of her favourite foods list, a food that I didn’t get to experience until adulthood.

How did you find out that you liked your steak cooked medium-rare? Or find out that tiramisu is your favourite dessert? Or that you prefer to mix your mashed potatoes with gravy? At some point in your life, you tried it and realized that you liked it. Perhaps you learned your preferences around your family table growing up. Perhaps a person that you really wanted to impress offered something new to try, and you took them up on the offer. I am responsible for the fact that Eric now drinks coffee. When we first started dating, I invited him into my world of addiction to caffeine and he has been a fan ever since.

My point is this – you will never know whether
you enjoy something new unless you try it.

If you are aiming to have a sexual relationship with the same person for decades, then creativity, variety and spontaneity need to be tools in your tool belt. This doesn’t mean that you won’t have your “tried and true” favourites. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a favourite position, or time of day, or type of lighting during your sexual encounters. My husband’s favourite flavour of ice cream is vanilla. No lie. But the reason he knows this is his favourite is that he has tried a bunch of other flavours. That is the difference between having a favourite and an only.

Here is my challenge for you this week. Pick a new position, or time of day, or place to have sex and try it. If you love it, add it to your list of favourites. If you don’t, then put it on the “been there, done that” list. Regardless of which list it lands on, congratulate yourself on being creative in your love life this week. And then write in and let me know about your experience!
…

…

…